DDR Max2!
by chasenwilsonsmistress
Summary: A hospital and a dance pad? What! More bets taking place? Enjoy this comedy about the PPTH and a DDR game. Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HOUSE!
1. The Patient

Ten-year-old Kimmy was almost finished her treatments for leukemia. She had made amazing progress. Wilson was busy with another patient, but had asked Cameron to Kimmy and her mother that she would be able to go home soon. The young girl was excited to hear this news.

"Mommy! Do you know what I wanna do first when I go home?"

"What, sweetie?"

"Play DDR! I haven't played in so long!"

"I don't think you'll be playing that for a while. You might be getting better, but you still need to get stronger."

"I wanna play NOW!"

"You're getting better, and you'll keep getting better faster if you don't play too much."

"It's not fair."

"Actually, ma'am," Cameron addressed the mother. "I believe I could arrange for a dance pad to be brought here. That way, your daughter's play could be monitored, and we could see how it affects her progress."

"You could? Cool!" cried Kimmy.

"This would mean so much to her, and she will be monitored…I suppose I can allow it. Thank you, Dr. Cameron."

"No problem," Cameron said.

With that, she turned and started heading towards Cuddy's office. If anyone should know about the hospital acquiring a video game and dance pad, it would certainly be that hospital's administrator.


	2. Getting the pad

"You want a hospital to condone playing video games?" Cuddy practically screamed.

Of all the ridiculous ideas she'd heard, this one took the cake. She was very surprised to hear such a thing out of Cameron. Maybe House was right, she was the most naïve atheist ever.

"This not just any video game that allows kids to lead sedentary lives. This one actually promotes movement," Cameron argued to defend the game.

"Absolutely not. It's a lawsuit waiting to happen. Either someone will slip on the dance pad and hurt themselves, or the lights from the game will induce a seizure. Either way, we'll be sued."

"I'll pay for everything myself and take full liability."

"You really want this for this kid, don't you? I can't see what makes her so special, but…what the hell? We'll try this for a little while. But be warned, we'll have to set limits on how long people can use that thing. And we'll have to be sure people can't slip unless it's their own fault. Go ahead and order your dance pad."


	3. The Bets

"We got a new toy and I didn't know about it? How did that happen?" asked House as he rode into the lounge one his scooter.

"It's not a toy," Cameron told him. "It's a dance pad."

"And do you PLAY video GAMES on this dance pad?"

"Well…yes…"

"Then it's a toy. And, being a cripple, I'm guessing I won't be too good at playing with it. So, I'll have to find a way to make myself good."

"I'd love to see that," Chase said as he came in from the hall. He was the only other person besides Cameron and Cuddy who knew about this. "A cripple playing DDR."

"You know what I'd love to see?" House asked him.

"What?"

"A wombat playing DDR."

"Don't worry, I'm prepared to show you a few of my moves."

"What's all this?" asked Foreman as he came in.

"Hey, Forman, wanna show us how to bust a move?" asked House.

"You bought a dance pad?"

"Not me this time. Cameron."

"There's a little girl in oncology who Wilson asked to tell she would go home soon. She expressed her desire to be home and play DDR. I thought we could have one here."

"Aw, Cameron. That's so touching," House said as sarcastic as ever. "Speaking of Wilson, I better page him!"

Foreman rolled his eyes at that and continued to speak to Cameron.

"You thought a hospital could have a video game?"

"I already went through this with Cuddy. Besides, it's a game that promotes movement. It's only temporary. I'll get rid of it when the little girl is able to go home and play with her own."

Wilson had arrived pretty quickly considering where he was coming from and who he knew was awaiting him.

"What did I miss?" he asked upon seeing them all there.

"Cameron got a DDR 'cause one of your patients said she wanted to play," House told him.

"You paged me for a video game?"

"Are you surprised? It's not just a video game, it's DDR. The one game you might actually beat me at."

"Sorry, not interested."

"One hundred bucks says you are."

"Make it five hundred."

"You're on! Anyone else?"

House looked around the room. He was guessing this would just be between him and Wilson.

"Count me in," said Chase.

"And me," said Foreman after a little while.

Cameron shook her head. This was going to be too entertaining for her to participate. Her problem then became who she wanted to win…


	4. Rationalizing the game

Cameron had gone all out for this crazy idea. As a doctor, she could afford to, but she had really spent a lot of money on what should be a little bit of time. She operated under the Mastercard principle:  
New PS2: $130

New metal dance pad with bar, game included: $350

Rush Delivery: $25

Child's reaction: Priceless

Kimmy was indeed excited to hear about the surprise waiting for her in the lounge. She was lucky to be feeling a great deal better, and therefore be the first one to play. Cuddy was there for the unveiling of the dance pad, and she gathered the patients present to tell them about the rules.

"Ladies and gentlemen," she began, "We at the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital would like to make this Dance Dance Revolution game available to you. It is a game that promotes movement and eye-foot coordination, which may help some of you with your recoveries. Just a few rules before we begin. One, you may only dance to up to three songs. If you need support, you may lean on the metal bar attached to the pad. Two, you may only watch up to two other people playing. Three, take your time getting on and off the pad so as not to slip. Also, only move as quickly as necessary so as not to slip. Finally, have fun!"

House pondered this last statement. How could he have fun if he couldn't win? He had watched people playing DDR in arcades along the Jersey shore. He knew there was no way he could beat them. Unless…of course! The pad Cameron had bought had a metal bar behind it for people to hold onto. Using that, he wouldn't have to put too much weight on his right leg. He could also use is cane to che—that is, help him. The other three would never see this coming!


	5. Surprise, surprise

**Note First, I'd like to apologize for keeping you waiting. Second, in response to review(s) saying my chapters should be longer, I've decided to make this one twice the size of a normal chapter. Third, I realized I should have been doing this throughout my chapters, but I would like to remind you that I DON'T OWN HOUSE! Happy reading!**

The dance pad turned out to be a huge success. Quelle surprise! Everyday, patients would line up awaiting their turn. The doctors, on the other hand, were not so enthusiastic about it. Chase, Foreman, and Wilson sat around, drinking coffee one morning while they discussed the competition that had yet to take place. They were positive he'd be later, so they were unafraid to talk about him.

"You'd think we'd be used to losing our money to House by now," sighed Foreman.

"What d'you mean?" asked Chase. "How can he win this time? Three healthy people against one cripple in a DANCE competition…"

"If you think we've got it, what are you so worried about?" Foreman asked him.

"I'm not worried," said Chase.

Foreman just looked at him. He could tell the Aussie wasn't telling the truth, but he'd never get him to admit it.

"Believe me," said Wilson, "House will find a way to win. I can't believe I took him up on his offer."

They were interrupted by the opening of the door. The three doctors all turned to see who was there. They barely managed to stop their jaws from dropping. Gregory House had actually shown up for work before noon.

"Morning," he said in a tone that could be considered cheerful for House. "What? No one's gonna return the greeting? You weren't talking about me behind my back, were you? That's not nice."

As House went over to fix some coffee, the other three dismissed themselves. They all pretended to have caught their pagers before they went off. Foreman and Wilson went back to Neurology and Oncology, respectively. Chase headed to the lounge where Cameron was monitoring the patients playing DDR. It was his turn to be the monitor. As he entered the room, he was shocked by what he saw.

_Take me anywhere you please, boy, you're making me scream_

_Ooh la da dee, la da da_

_You've gotta dream a little dream_

"Cameron."

Chase came in to find Cameron on the dance pad, finishing up Captain Jack's "Dream a Dream." She had a captive audience that was cheering her on. She was a little startled by Chase's sudden arrival, but got over that quickly.

"Chase," she said. "I was hoping you'd walk in on that song."

"Really?" he said, ready to flirt back with her.

Remembering the patients, he had to stop himself. He shook his head and cleared his throat.

"Um…you can go back to your department now. I'll take over here," he told her.

"Right," she said.

It was all she could manage to say. She was embarrassed to have been caught dancing when she knew it was only for patients to do so. She was also embarrassed to have flirted in front of patients. She left the lounge hastily and headed to her office.

"I wanna see more doctors do it!" cried a little boy whose had been completed before Cameron's.

"Don't worry, you just might," said Cuddy as she walked into the room. "Tonight, at five o'clock, when many doctors usually go home, we will have four of our best doctors dance for you and compete for the highest score. We'll even let you tell us who you'd like to win. Unfortunately, there won't be prizes, just the reward of watching some good entertainment. Hope to see you then!"

Cuddy motioned for Chase to follow her back into the hallway. He followed her, wondering how she could possibly have known about the bets between him, Foreman, Wilson, and House.

"What?" exclaimed Chase. "How did you know?"

"Wilson let it slip," Cuddy told him.

"Wilson…"

"I wanted to check on the girl who inspired all this madness, so I called him to my office. He seemed to be distracted, and when I asked him what the matter was, he said something about House and how he couldn't believe he could beat you all. I then got him to tell me about your little competition."

"So…are you…angry?"

"Well, I'm not exactly happy. I'm not really mad, either. I just figure, at least House didn't get gets going with the patients."

Chase looked up into the lounge. It held yet another amazing sight. Somehow, House had gone past Cuddy and Chase without saying anything or being caught by either of them. He was probably too busy listening to Cuddy announce the upcoming competition to come up with a way to annoy her, which is amazing in itself. When Chase looked up, he was taking cash from patients. Seeing this after what Cuddy just said, he could only look down and chuckle to himself.

"What?" she wanted to know.

Cuddy turned around. She stood, staring, for just a moment. The sight infuriated her. She quickly marched through the lounge doors to stop the betting.

"HOUSE!"

"Cuddy. Which one of us would you like to bet on?"

"I'm not betting on anybody! And neither are they! Give them their money back!"

"But, Mommy…"

"Give them their money back. And go give that leg some rest. You're gonna need it tonight."

Reluctantly, House did what he was told. From the bets he had taken, the odds weren't in his favor. This worried him. What if the competition proved too much, even with the bar and the cane? This worry passed quickly, as he could not dwell on such a thought. He hurried as best he could to his office for some time with his iPod and his oversized tennis ball.


	6. The Competition

-1**A/N: I wish I could have updated sooner, but I was too worried about who should dance to what and how the scores should tally up. While I have a DDR game of my own, I'm no expert at it, so the scores are just made up. They at least have the correct amount of digits. **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own House. If I did, his team wouldn't have changed.**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Five o'clock rolled around all too soon for Chase, Foreman, Wilson, and House. It couldn't roll around soon enough for Cuddy, Cameron, and the patients who would be watching them. It had been decided that Cameron should take the poll to see who the patients wanted to win their little competition. Chase took an overwhelming lead, as there were many young women in attendance. Foreman and Wilson were nearly tied. Hardly anybody voted for House, not that he cared. In fact, that's what he thought would make winning better. This vote helped Cameron decide that she would really like House to win.

"All right, who's going first? Chase, the audience would like you to win, why don't you go first?" Cameron asked.

"All right, I'll show them what they're up against," Chase said.

He directed this comment mostly at House, still believing that this would be too much for him. He was feeling especially confident after finding he was the one most people wanted to beat the competition. He picked his songs at random. He ended up dancing to "Tsugaru," "AM-3P, " and "Take Me Away."

In the middle of Chase's second song, House stepped forward. He couldn't stand the fact that the Australian had managed to get through a song and a half without missing many steps and with perfect hair. Casually, he stuck out his cane. Chase tripped on it, but did not miss steps, as House had intended. To add to House's dismay, Chase merely smiled at the attempt to thwart him and proceeded to run a hand through his hair. House sulked through the rest of Chase's turn, and Chase ended up with a score of 38265934421.

Next up was Foreman. Following suit, he also chose his songs at random. This left him dancing to "Let's Groove," "Get Down Tonight," and "Do It Right." House made some racist remark about the second song, which made Foreman just roll his eyes and keep moving. House also made an attempt at tripping Foreman with his cane. Foreman, guessing this might happen, had been aware of his movements and managed to step around the cane. House made a couple more unsuccessful attempts at tripping Foreman, and finally just whacked him on the leg. Foreman, though his leg was in pain now, still did not miss a beat. This lead House to do even more sulking until Foreman finished with just 1000 more points than Chase.

Keeping up with the order of popularity, Wilson came next. He, too, chose his songs at random. His songs ended up being "Break Down," "Can't Stop Fallin' In Love," and "Put Your Faith In Me." These also earned snide remarks from House. Wilson simply had to ignore these remarks, as it was clear from the first song that he was not meant to be a dancer. Paying attention to House would mean failure for sure.

"'Can't Stop Fallin' In Love,'" House repeated the song title. "That's fits. Hey, Wilson, what number wife you on now? Three? Four? Five?"

A lack of response displeased House. He had to come up with something better. He took a few minutes to think of something. Wilson's near failure, combined with his last comment, gave him the perfect comment.

"Gee, Wilson," he began, "I know why your ex-wives left you. They were looking for someone who can dance."

_Okay, _House thought, _that wasn't as perfect when I actually said it._ There was still no response. This left House no choice but to resort to trying to trip Wilson as well. By the time he thought of this, though, it was near the end of the song, which was a good thing for Wilson. House stuck out his cane yet again. Wilson, being too absorbed in the dance steps and trying not to fail, didn't notice. Instead of simply tripping, Wilson came crashing down, right onto his bottom with his arms flailing and a shocked look on his face.

House immediately burst into uproarious laughter at this sight. Everyone else present was either just as amused or completely disgusted by what happened. No matter what they felt, they were at least trying to hide it. Wilson had to think of a quick way to get back at House. Luckily, he didn't have to look very far. He stood up and saw it. House had been so distracted by Wilson's fall that he had forgotten to move his cane out of the way. Wilson had fallen backwards, right into the cane, pushing it into the metal bar and snapping it in two. However, the impact hadn't knocked it out of House's hand, so he was unaware of the snap.

"Oh man," House said between laughs, "If this were on TiVo, I'd so be rewinding right now."

"Oh yeah?" Wilson said. "Would rewinding put your cane back together?"

"What do you mean?" House asked. "My cane's not broken. See?"

House held up the larger end of the cane. He peered down it to discover that it was, indeed, broken. He almost wet himself at the sight. What was he going to do without his cane?

"Damn it, Jimmy!" he shouted. "This is the second time you've broken my cane! I need some tape down here, STAT!"

"You're up next, House," Cuddy said. "This can wait."

"No, it can't!' House yelled.

"Here," Cameron said, thrusting duct tape into his open hand.

"Where did duct tape come from? Why should I care right now?" House wondered out loud.

He made the necessary reparations and proceeded to fulfill his end of the competition. With all those people watching, he decided to follow suit and choose his songs randomly. He ended up dancing to "The Whistle Song," "A Little Bit Of Ecstasy," and "Twilight Zone." Just as planned, he leaned on the metal bar. He didn't have to put much weight on his right leg. Freeze arrows and other hard moves were taken care of by his cane. As only a child can do, Kimmy pointed out the use of his cane to her mother.

"Mommy, he's cheating," she said.

"Shhhh!" her mother urged her.

"I'm a cripple, I'm allowed to cheat," House told her.

"Make him stop cheating," Kimmy turned to Cameron, who had given her this opportunity in the first place.

"Uh..." Cameron stammered. "I'm sorry. He needs his cane. It's not cheating if he needs it. It's helping him."

And helping him it was. Though there wasn't much weight on it, his leg still hurt, so he popped Vicodin after every song. Everyone in attendance just stared on as the crippled doctor beat the pants off his competitors. His final score was 4976512239. When everyone recovered from their shock, a round of applause went out to the winning doctor and then to his competitors. The patients were all dismissed to their rooms. Once outside the lounge, House started demanding his money.

"Let's see, I should be getting…oh…1500 dollars. Five hundred from you, five hundred from you, and five hundred from you. I expect to see it first thing tomorrow," he said.

"House," Cuddy said. "I can't believe I'm doing this, but I'm rewarding you for your performance. I'll take off two hours of clinic duty."

"Make it five. That goes with the hundreds of dollars I'll be collecting from each of them tomorrow," he House said.

"Nice try," said Cuddy. "I'll be nice, but I won't be that nice. You get two hours off clinic. Nice job tonight."


	7. Goodbye, Dance Pad

**A/N: I realized it's been a month since I updated. I decided that the story needed some closure after House won. I know it's too short. I hope it's not too anti-climactic. I left it open for a sequel, but I can't say that there will be one.**

**Disclaimer: Of all the things I have acquired since I last updated, the rights for House is not among them L **

After the competition, the popularity of the dance pad went down. Patients and their families were disappointed that a cheater had won. They would have tried to put on a little competition of their own, but there were the few cynics out there who remarked you'd have to cheat to win. Yet, the deal was still on that the dance pad would stay until Kimmy went home.

Meanwhile, anyone who owed House money was taking a beating until they coughed it up. This did include actual beatings with his cane, of course. It also included being put through useless engagements, such as running pointless tests on patients, and doing House's clinic duty on days when the clinic was packed with people who either had colds or thought they had STD's. Finally, House was paid off. He put that money away for the next time he decided to run DNA tests behind someone's back or do something else unethical.

With the declining popularity of the dance pad, the ducklings grew bored with the mandatory monitoring shifts. It was only entertaining when patients or their loved ones did horribly, and since not as many people were dancing, there were not as many people to perform horribly. No one knew how much longer they could stand it. Finally, Wilson delivered the news they all had been longing to hear.

"Good news," he said. "Kimmy's cancer is in remission. She should be checking out in a few days."

"Damn," said Cuddy. "What am I gonna tell the patients?"

"They probably won't care. Hardly anyone uses that thing," said Foreman.

"Tell them the truth," Chase suggested. "You were never supposed to have such a thing in the first place."

"I can't tell them that! I know, I'll just tell them that we thought it would help speed recovery, but there was no significant difference."

"Wait a minute," Cameron said. "What am I gonna do with that thing in my apartment? I've go too much stuff as it is."

"Shoulda thought about that earlier," said House as he walked in. "Are we really talking about getting rid of the dance pad?"

House leaned is cane on the back of the chair Cuddy was sitting in. He placed his hands over her ears as one would when saying something a child shouldn't hear.

"How will I get out of clinic duty now?" he asked his team.

"I heard that," said Cuddy as she pried House's hands away. "And you better watch it, or I'll give those two clinic hours back."

This quieted House for a while. Two hours wasn't much, but any time off clinic was valuable to House, even if it meant taking an idle threat from Cuddy. Wilson looked down at Kimmy's charts again. He had read them wrong the first time. Kimmy would be checking out later that day.

"Uh…You're not going to believe this," he said to Cameron and Cuddy. "Kimmy's not checking out in a few days. She's checking out today."

The two women jumped up from where they were sitting. They left the room muttering expletives. This left the men thinking it wasn't that serious. This also led to suggestions as to why it might have seemed serious that week, but not the next.

The patients and their loved ones did care that the dance pad was being taken away. Luckily, Cuddy's explanation was satisfactory and there were no further questions raised. Cameron did find room in her small apartment before she eventually sold the dance pad. Without it at the hospital, things went back to the way they were before the dance pad. That is, until the next interesting thing came along…


End file.
